it feels good to hurt others.
sometimes it does.
i know that’s just about the worst thing i could feel, but at least i am aware of it.
so blondie calls me today. i have some of her stuff.
but that’s just an excuse. she misses me. she has a beta bf, she says she’s happy, she says he treats her right — but i can tell she’s bored.
and sexually frustrated.
how do i know this? well, she quickly brings up sex in the conversation.
not about her, about a coworker, but yeah, right, i know what she is really talking about.
then pretty much out of the blue, she asks me,
ya tienes otra victima en [ ]?
do you have another victim in city Y?
that feels great.
do you have another victim to fill your needs?
you were my victim?
yes, i was your victim.
but who cares, i forgive you.
i feel like the emperor in star wars, embrace the dark side, luke! it feels great. i love it. i am actually getting turned on, feeling her pain.
i tell her i want to see pics of her and her new bf.
she says no.
i wouldn’t want to see pictures of you with someone else.
why not?, i ask.
because i loved you.
you were very important to me.
but i need to move on with my life.
i love every second.
it fucking feels great.
these are the girls you fuck.
the ones that give you ZERO butterflies.
in this world, sadly that’s true.
and so i take it even further.
i ask her,
does your bf know you are still in love with me?
there is a pause.
i am trying to make her cry.
but she doesn’t crack.
she just sighs, and says,
i’m not still in love with you.
but she clearly is.
anyway, damn, talk about regressing. here i am trying to fix my core, and instead i end up indulging in psychological sadism.
but fuck it, it feels great to be the asshole sometimes. i have rarely played that role in my life, and it is a real rush.
let me put it this way:
i fucked her, i slapped her, i choked her, i filmed her, i came on her face, i broke her heart, and now she can’t stop thinking about me.
that’s all i got to say.